Oasis Women's Refuge

				Reg' Charity No. 1060355

			12 Signs Of Abuse
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		At the start of the relationship he accelerates the pace, putting things like commitment, living together, even marriage on the agenda prematurely.
		He uses phrases like "together for life", "always" or "no matter what" making it hard for you to cool the pace.
		You find yourself dismissing misgivings early on. - these could be from fearing he could hurt you or just a vague feeling things aren't right.
		He suffers from mood swings - you tread on eggshells because there's no knowing what will set him off.
		He becomes jealous of anyone or anything that takes up your time outside the relationship or requires you to account for every moment.
		He is often verbally abusive, using threats to hurt, embarrass or restrict your freedom and bullying language during arguments.
		He breaks or hits things during rows and uses symbolic violence like tearing up photos or destroying your personal possessions.
		He refuses to accept rejection. As far as he's concerned the relationship continues for as long as HE says.
		He relates everything in his life to you. Saying things like "without you there'd be no point existing". That's not love, it's obsession.
		He uses money to control you.
		He minimises abusive incidents as if each time was a total one off. He makes you believe he's not a violent person, it's just that sometimes bad things happen between you that you're both EQUALLY responsible for.
		He blames others for the way he is. His parents messed him up or something you did made him angry.
	Taken from Cosmopolitan June 1999
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